How to Help an Alcoholic

How to Help an Alcoholic

Helping Someone with a Drinking Problem

Alcohol and drug use not only create a lot of problems for the user but for the family members as well. I did a lot of damage to my family through my alcohol dependence, and it took a lot of healing and bridge-rebuilding in order to make up for it.

I never realized the pain I caused until I got clean. After I attended Best Rehabs In Arizona Recovery for treatment, I learned how to love myself again and work on the issues that caused my addiction. When does alcohol abuse become a problem? Read more to find out how to pick up on the signs you should be looking out for.

Alcohol problems are a persistent issue in our society. Alcohol is a socially acceptable drug, so it is one of the easiest substances to get hooked on. Alcoholism can lead to serious life consequences and fractured relationships. It also takes a huge toll on your mental health. There is no way to understate how alcohol affects emotional and behavioral health.

Keep reading to learn more about how to help an alcoholic, from someone who struggled themselves and is able to speak from personal experience about the programs at Best Rehabs In Arizona.

Don’t Enable Their Behavior

If you have an alcoholic in your family, it is easy to enable their behavior. We don’t want to push people away, so often we will try and overlook certain issues. It’s important to try and offer emotional support, but you have to set healthy boundaries about alcohol for yourself. It’s hard to watch a loved one suffer, but you have a choice in taking on that suffering. You are only in control of your own life, and you can’t fix another person’s pain.

An addicted person will often feel threatened or judged if you push them too hard. It’s a difficult issue to bring up for someone who is suffering from an alcohol problem. You can’t change a loved one’s life unless they are willing to accept that change. It’s very tricky to guide someone through the process of getting clean.

Unfortunately, not everyone who suffers from alcohol abuse will get clean. This is just a fact of life, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up. Drinking alcohol to excess can greatly affect the brain and decision-making. You have to keep this in mind when you are trying to console an addict. You never know what can set someone off and feel triggered.

Knowing the Signs of an Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)

Knowing the Signs of an Alcohol Use Disorder

There is certain behavior that people with an alcohol addiction will exude. People’s drinking habits will eventually show that they have a problem. If someone you know often drinks to excess, and their behavior changes for the worse when they are drunk, this is the beginning of a potential issue.

Alcoholics will often lie about their drinking as well. When you’re suffering from alcohol addiction or any form of an alcohol use disorder, for that matter, you will often try to hide it at the beginning. You will eventually get really get at hiding it as well. Alcoholics will go to great lengths to hide their drinking. This dishonesty can weigh heavy on your mind.

I always felt bad about myself when I was abusing alcohol. I was constantly lying and making people think I didn’t have as big of a drinking problem as I did. My family members knew something was wrong, but I never let them get close enough to see just how bad I had gotten. Closing yourself off can create a lot more issues and make it even harder to reach out when you finally do want to get help.

Binge Drinking: The Beginning of More Problems

I began binge drinking in college, and eventually developed an alcohol use disorder that slowly got worse and worse. I would only drink at night at first, but it was every night. Then I slowly began drinking earlier and earlier. By the time I was in my late twenties, I was waking up with a beer in my hand. It felt like it happened quickly, but it didn’t. Before I knew it, I needed alcohol to get through every hour of each day.

My alcohol abuse came on slowly. This is very common with all types of substance abuse. You don’t start off as a full-blown addict. The amount gradually increases and before you know it, you need the drug just to get by. My drinking problem eventually started affecting my personal and professional life as well.

I lost more than one job because of my drinking. I worked in a restaurant at one point and got fired for stealing alcohol. Even though my boss was angry, he tried to help. He told me I had an alcohol use disorder and it would only get worse if I didn’t stop drinking. You never want to believe the obvious when you are in that position. I knew he was right, but I lied to myself and blamed others for my issues. An alcoholic will look at everyone else as the problem before themselves.

The Red Flags that Your Loved One Has a Drinking Problem

I had one family member who had overcome their alcohol abuse through rehab and support groups. They noticed that I was going down the same path, even though I believed I was doing a good job of hiding it. It was hard for me to hide my desire for alcohol. If I didn’t have booze, I was a different person. I was irritable. I didn’t want to deal with any of life’s obstacles,

The signs are always there, and they are easy to pick up on for people who have a history of alcohol dependence. My other family members didn’t see what alcohol was doing to me, but this one person who had experience with alcohol abuse saw it right away. They were careful not to push me away, but they were blunt and honest about how bleak my future would be if I didn’t seek treatment.

There is no manual for how to help an alcoholic, but we do have effective ways of preventing drug abuse and getting help. Even with prior experience being an alcoholic, you never know what the best approach is. Every addiction is unique. Because I had mental health issues, this made my addiction much more tricky. Alcohol misuse already affects your brain in a negative way, so if you have a mental health disorder, it can require a lot more work.

Understanding Alcohol Addiction

Understanding Alcohol Addiction

Dealing with a loved one’s addiction is an emotional rollercoaster. You want to help them, but you often don’t know how. There are no magic words to get someone to quit drinking. Your loved one’s behaviors can be heartbreaking and extremely difficult to accept. A codependent relationship can make things even harder to work through.

You don’t want to enable your loved one’s addiction, but you can fall into it easily. It’s easy to start making excuses for a loved one’s alcoholism. You can begin to view them as a victim. The most important thing to come to grips with is it isn’t your fault. Alcohol abuse is a personal issue and it’s up to the alcoholic to seek treatment options.

Your loved one may get angry with you if you push them too hard to seek help. The most successful way to help them is to do some research. If you understand alcohol addiction, you will be better equipped to help someone get the help they need. If you have a family member who is addicted, you should learn a little bit about the dynamics of alcohol and drug abuse.

What Not To Say to an Alcoholic Loved One

Pushing someone too hard to seek professional treatment is the wrong approach. You can lightly nudge people, but you can’t be aggressive about it. If a friend or family member has an addiction, you need to respect their journey. People who want help will get help. You can’t force anyone to go into alcohol treatment.

Tough love is important, but it needs to be done cautiously. You have to take into consideration that an alcoholic’s mental health is usually a big factor in their suffering. Substance abuse comes from somewhere, and it is often the result of people trying to cover up past trauma or pain. The key is to engage in careful conversations.

My family always stressed to me that they weren’t trying to change me, but if I was ready to change myself, I could always seek addiction treatment no matter how bad my addiction was. I always appreciated that support and let them know that after I got sober. Encouraging a loved one to get help can be uncomfortable, but it can pay off big too.

Checking Insurance Coverage for an Alcohol Rehab

There are a lot of things to navigate when you decide to seek help. Figuring out your insurance and getting financial support is one of the worries that many people in recovery deal with. You go through many major life changes when you seek treatment, and it doesn’t have to all be so overwhelming.

There are a lot of ways to find financial assistance if you aren’t in a position to afford rehab. It’s much better to try and figure those things out than just deciding to not get help because you can’t figure it out financially. A lot of times legal trouble can get in the way too.

Finding effective treatment is possible as long as you are all in on getting clean. Stay calm and remain calm. You can get through this with a good head on your shoulders. The people at Best Rehabs In Arizona did a great job of helping relieve stress and get me through the process as comfortably as possible.

Supporting Your Loved One’s Recovery

Supporting Your Loved One's Recovery

When a loved one is seeking professional help, it’s important to be in their corner. Alcohol abuse usually requires intensive treatment and medical supervision during a detox. Alcohol detox is one of the most uncomfortable forms of detox. Alcoholism affects the body so greatly that alcohol detox can be deadly.

My alcohol withdrawal was brutal, and the symptoms nearly broke me. Luckily, I have a great family behind me who are extremely supportive and were my cheerleaders along the way. Even after the initial detox, my alcohol cravings were intense. Alcohol use disorder takes a big toll on your mind, so addiction treatment requires a lot of support.

I was greatly encouraged during my treatment, not just by my family, but by the medical professionals who helped me while I was recovering. All of the support I received was crucial in my recovery. With all the help I got, I was able to get back into a good place and use my platform to help others the way that I was helped.

What Happens in an Alcohol Rehab Center?

When you go to treatment, you have to expect the first few days to be uncomfortable. The detox is tough, but with the right people around you, you will be able to make it through to the next step of the process. Once you get through the detox, you’ve done a lot more than other people have.

The next part of the process revolves around getting your mental health back to where it needs to be. You have to start facing all of the problems that got you to where you have gotten. Substance abuse changes your brain and you need to pay a lot of attention to rebuilding a healthy, positive attitude.

A big part of recovery is speaking to others in recovery. Support groups make a world of difference on your journey. Even when you are out of treatment, finding the right support group is very important for your continuing recovery. You don’t get out of treatment completely healed. When you attend therapy and support groups, you up your chances of long-term recovery.

Avoid Bringing Alcohol into the Home

Developing coping mechanisms is crucial to your long-term recovery. During your initial sobriety period, you will need to avoid being around other people who are drinking. You should avoid bringing alcohol into your home and also let your loved ones know not to drink around you. This is the least they can do for you. If someone in your life doesn’t want to abide by this suggestion, then they are not willing to help you get clean.

It can be hard to end friendships or relationships that you had when you were drinking, but it’s just a part of life and the journey toward sobriety. You should only have relationships that benefit you. As hard as it can be to stop associating with friends who drink, it’s a lot harder to relapse and have to rebuild your sobriety.

Treating the Underlying Issue Before You Start Drinking Again

Treating the Underlying Issue Before You Start Drinking Again

One of the underlying issues that lead to relapse can be finding yourself in these social situations. You can be tempted to drink if you are around people who are drinking and having a good time. You have to remind yourself that you’re not the kind of person who can have a good time drinking.

I know that my drinking was causing problems for me. I know that I can’t drink and have fun. If I drink, it will lead me down a dark path. Drinking is not something that I can associate with. Now that I’ve been sober for a while, I can be around a little bit of drinking, but I have to keep myself and check and remove myself from the situation if I feel triggered.

Supporting a Loved One Into Treatment

Family therapy sessions can go a long way in helping loved ones through alcohol use disorders. Addiction recovery is a very personal thing that requires a lot of individual therapy, but family therapy can give you a better idea of how your drinking affects everyone else around you.

Peer support groups and individual therapy keep you on track. When I go to a group meeting, I listen to everything my peers have to say. I also try and be as honest as possible about my own issues. There are days when I don’t feel great, and I may be more likely to relapse. Going to meetings reminds me that I can stay clean if I put in the work.

Alcoholism is selfish. A lot of alcoholics don’t understand this until they get clean. Professional treatment goes a long way in helping you realize what your drinking does to everyone else around you. Recovery is an ongoing process, and a learning process as well. When you are in therapy, talk honestly. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.

The Right Destination for Help with Alcohol

If you or a loved one are struggling with an alcohol use disorder, consider looking at the treatment option. I know for me, Best Rehabs In Arizona in Colorado was where I was finally able to find my footing and get sober.

You or your loved one may want to reach out and get options as well, after all, it only takes a few minutes to get options for putting all the consequences of drinking in your rearview mirror for good. Give them a confidential call to find out more today, I know my life has changed since I did!

Friends of Bill W

Friends of Bill W

In the early stages of your sobriety journey, you may decide to enroll in a 12-step fellowship, such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. There is a whole new way of thinking and making decisions that come with recovery, and there is also what may seem like a whole new language to learn: “AA jargon,” like the term ‘friends of Bill W.’

William Griffith Wilson, also known as Bill Wilson, or “Bill W.,” and co-founder Bob Smith, or “Bob,” are the originators of several AA terminologies, sayings, and expressions. Since the group’s inception, several idioms have emerged, including the association with Bill W that has become synonymous with membership, especially as shorthand on cruise lines and ships.

Keep reading for our guide to what 12-step programs offer as well as a helpful resource for the AA jargon often used by members.

What Is AA Language?

Many expressions and idioms associated with sobriety may be found in AA and NA literature. They might be used by other 12-step groups that follow the AA paradigm. The AA jargon originated for several causes.

Phrases like “it works when you work it” is meant to serve as reminders of basic ideas for the group. Following the AA Traditions, the organization chooses to use phrases like “Friends of Bill W.” to ensure that its members’ anonymity is maintained.

You may learn the language of the organization and its members by looking at some real-life instances of the most popular AA jargon, and you may even be familiar with some sayings like, “One Day at A Time.’

Taking the Next Right Action

Participating and working the 12 Steps and regularly attending AA groups is known as the “Right Action.” More specifically, attending an AA meeting and participating with the help of a sponsor is considered the right action. At any given meeting, you’ll find many participants attending with their sponsors, who are in recovery themselves.

“Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Over a Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism” is the basic text of AA and is usually referred to as “The Big Book.” There are many inspiring accounts of AA members’ journeys to sobriety outlined within its pages.

Actions that are “correct” for AA members are those that are accomplished via working the steps. Following the Steps is meant to help one develop a more positive outlook on life, other people, and the recovery process as a whole. In an effort to alter a substance-abusing lifestyle, a shift in outlook and approach is essential.

Friends of Bill W. and Cruise Ships

Friends of Bill W. and Cruise Ships

The term “a friend of Bill W.” used in AA does not relate to anyone you may know in real life. Instead, it is a code term used to conceal the identities of the group’s participants. Why do individuals in recovery value anonymity so highly, and what does it entail exactly?

The anonymity of its members is one of AA’s core tenets. In a word, anonymity in AA meetings implies that everyone there will respect your privacy and keep whatever you say to themselves.

You may be asked if you know Bill W if you are seen loitering around the meeting place and peering through doors or windows.

The person asking you this code word is trying to determine whether you are truly seeking the AA meeting in a method that keeps your identity secret.

Originally, the term “friends of Bill W.” was used as a cruise compass to find meetings onboard cruise ships where members wanted to stay completely anonymous on vacation but still sneak in a meeting or two. Signage that indicates a meeting for ‘friends of Bill W’ can still be seen on cruise lines around the world, though the term is used somewhat less as many people proudly acknowledge their recovery and membership, even in otherwise Anonymous 12-step programs.

The Importance of Anniversaries and Birthdays in Sobriety

All recovery steps are celebrated as successes in AA and other 12-step programs. When a member of AA or NA reaches certain sobriety milestones, such as 30 days, 90 days, six months, etc., they get a “chip” as a physical reminder of their accomplishment.

The passage of another year signifies the occurrence of a “birthday.” The moderator of a meeting may inquire if someone is honoring one of these dates. At an alcoholics anonymous meeting, a “10th yearly birthday” is the anniversary of a person’s sobriety rather than their actual birth date. Thus, it’s understood that the individual has been sober for 10 years.

Importance of Anniversaries and Birthdays in Sobriety

In the Eastern part of the United States, anniversaries are more common than birthdays, so you might not hear much about a person’s “anniversary” instead of their “birthday.” Biological anniversaries are sometimes referred to as “belly button birthdays” to avoid confusion.

Old-Timers and The Traditions of the 12 Steps

The phrase “old-timer” is commonly used among AA group members, but you might be startled to learn that the person being referred to as such is actually rather young. That’s because the only factor that matters for determining whether or not someone is an old-timer in AA is how long they’ve been attending meetings and maintaining continuous sobriety.

A long-term AA member is a veteran of the program. These people may take up roles as meeting facilitators, sponsors, or event volunteers within the organization. Some long-time members can even recite large chunks of The Big Book verbatim.

Of course, there will always be some “old-timers” who have “been around the block,” so to speak, when it comes to AA recovery, so you might encounter an “old-timer” who is actually older. In such an instance, “a seasoned AA member” could be the most accurate description.

A Dry Drunk and the Importance of Active Participation

Addiction recovery communities outside of AA may find the phrase “dry drunk” unpleasant because it is not a clinical word. This word describes a person who has abstained from substance use but has taken no further measures toward recovery.

In an AA context, this might signify that the individual has ceased working the 12 Steps and attending meetings.

A “dry drunk” is someone who has stopped drinking or doing drugs but hasn’t changed their outlook on life or the way they think about things. When someone is in this mental state, they may have feelings of nostalgia, fixation, and a desire to reexperience the euphoric benefits of drug or alcohol usage.

Clinical research has confirmed that this is a real phenomenon that can occur during either the emotional or mental relapse stages. According to the research, when alcoholics relapse, it is a slow process that typically begins with thoughts and feelings of obsession with drugs or alcohol.

It Works If You Work It

Setting up chairs for AA Meeting

The “work” of AA revolves around the 12 Steps, a set of recovery principles. Using the AA fellowship, going through the 12 Steps, and living by the 12 Traditions of AA are all examples of “working it,” and the statement “it works if you work it” describes this process well. The “work” of AA includes not just meeting with other members but also performing acts of service to the community. Examples of this service include the following:

  • Community service (e.g., setting up chairs, making beverages, or other tasks required for a meeting)
  • Reaching out to fellow 12-steppers to aid a struggling newbie.
  • Meeting leadership
  • Accepting and supporting newcomers via sponsorship
  • Putting in a request to share your AA success story as a speaker

Step 13: A Step Better Left Alone

If you’re lucky enough to avoid having to go through Step 13 during your time in recovery, the expression simply refers to a sexual relationship between a seasoned AA member and a newcomer to the fellowship who has just discovered meetings.

Suffice to say, when you’re first becoming sober, it’s not a good idea to jump into a new romantic relationship.

Friends of Bill W. and Methods of Celebrating Fellowship

Whether it’s friends of Bill W. or another type of lingo used at get-togethers, if there’s one thing this “secret code” does besides maintain anonymity, it also promotes a higher level of support by creating a camaraderie. This gives people who join a new type of hope and a sense of accountability, as there’s a distinct feeling that they’re a part of something unique and special.

At Best Rehabs In Arizona Recovery, we use a similar mindset, organizing get-togethers in the form of a 12-Step Meeting, giving clients a chance to bond with peers, in addition to taking part in some type of spiritual or holistic experience.

Not only does this give clients a chance to bond with peers, but there’s additional expert advice available via group meetings you wouldn’t otherwise have access to with counselor meetings.

We would love to get you on board with our groundbreaking treatment program! To find out how we can help you on your path to recovery and lay a strong spiritual foundation, contact a member of our admissions team today.

 

Never Drinking Again

Never Drinking Again

Making The Decision Not To Drink

Making the decision to abstain from alcohol is extremely difficult. If you’ve gotten to that point, good for you. Keep in mind that a lot of alcoholics and problem drinkers never get to that point.

If you actually make the decision to stop drinking, that alone is a huge feat. If you slip up and go back to it, at least you know you can stop again because you’ve done it before. The reasons why people swear off alcohol may vary. Some people do it for their health and their overall well-being.

Some do it because it’s ruining their personal life. Regardless of how you’ve come to this conclusion, you’ve recognized that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. That is the first step.

Sometimes drinking is the symptom and not the problem. There’s a reason why a lot of addicts get as bad as they do. There is typically some sort of past trauma or tragic event that triggered you to use drugs or alcohol.

This isn’t the case with every single addict, but it’s a common thing they all have in common. A bad childhood. Mental health issues. Stress and anxiety. The list goes on and on. Whatever it is that led you to substance abuse, it needs to be taken care of as you begin your journey into sobriety.

There is something powerful to be said about dual diagnosis and drinking cessation. There are all sorts of therapy methods for alcohol abstinence, but dual diagnosis is an increasingly popular one.

Dual diagnosis refers to the process of tackling your addiction and your mental and/or emotional health issues at the same time. It may seem like a lot, but it worked wonders for me.

I had a lot of very serious emotional problems that I would cover up through drinking. When I got to Best Rehabs In Arizona for treatment, they offered a great dual diagnosis program that helped me work on all of my issues simultaneously.

It’s going to take a while to fix everything that you’ve been avoiding because of your addiction. When they say one day at a time, they mean it. You don’t have to worry about the next day or the next week.

The only thing that matters is how you are doing today, and what you are actively doing to work on yourself. There is a lot of rebuilding that needs to be done before you achieve long-term sobriety. If you’re up to the challenge, you can make it work.

Why is it so hard to stop drinking alcohol on your own? Because it is an all-powerful addiction. Recognizing that you are powerless to alcohol will help you through your initial period of recovery.

Some addicts try to convince themselves that they can have a couple of drinks and be ok. Some think they can figure out a way to keep their drinking under control. This usually doesn’t work out so well.

Even if you can control your drinking for a little while, it’s an addiction that’s designed to get worse and worse. Moderation and making drinking changes might work for non-addicts, but if you’re a true addict, you will know it sooner or later.

Self Knowledge And Drinking

Self Knowledge And Drinking

There is a lot of soul-searching to be done when you enter recovery. You learn a lot about yourself and what triggers you. You learn a lot about why you react the way you do in certain situations.

Even if you learn to cope with the triggers that may affect you, they can still overwhelm you at times. No one is perfect. When you attend meetings and therapy groups, you will meet a wide range of people from all different backgrounds, yet you all got there the same way. You couldn’t control it.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that they are never drinking again. It’s one thing to be confident in yourself, but it’s very hard for any addict to say this definitively and make it actually happen.

Plenty of people in recovery never do end up drinking again. But coping with never drinking again is a lifelong battle. You have to be strong every day. You have to recognize the triggers and how to avoid them. It’s a huge responsibility to put on yourself, but it will reward you greatly if you keep at it.

When you make the decision to quit drinking, picking the right place for recovery is key. Treatment centers are incredibly helpful for you to build a sober foundation. I was extremely pleased with my time at Best Rehabs In Arizona. I couldn’t have picked a more compassionate place.

Luckily, there are so many different forms of therapy and so many different recovery centers. What works for one person may not work for another. If you find the right treatment center, you will know it. Does alcohol detox work for casual drinkers? It may, but there may be alternative methods as well.

There is a lot that can be said about quitting cold turkey vs. home detox. Alcohol can be a very dangerous substance to detox from. It’s one of the few drugs where detox can be fatal if not done correctly. If you choose to do an at-home detox, you should make sure that you are doing it the right way.

Going through detox under medical supervision is the best way to do it, but if you’re going to home detox you need to recognize and be aware of the dangers and look into natural detox remedies. I strongly do not recommend quitting cold turkey if you are a late-term alcoholic.

It’s shocking that alcohol is legal, yet it can do more damage to us mentally and physically than most illegal drugs. I’m not here to argue that drugs should be legal, but it’s a strange reality.

You are allowed to legally drink yourself to death, but not to snort yourself to death. Alcohol is probably the most abused substance in the country because of its acceptance and availability. People make jokes about alcoholism and drinking to excess.

We think it’s funny until it hits us too close to home. When someone you know dies of alcoholism, it makes you think a lot more about how you view it. We often view drinking as a way to have fun and relax. That isn’t the case for a lot of addicts.

Milestones And Commitments To Stop Drinking

Milestones And Commitments To Stop Drinking

You have every reason to celebrate when you hit a milestone. When I was sober for one year, it was a surreal feeling. I was a bit worried though. I didn’t want to make a huge deal out of it, because I didn’t want to feel the external pressure to keep it up.

I still have off days and I still have times where I feel triggered to drink. Again, it’s a personal decision. If you feel like celebrating your milestones is a positive thing for you then by all means celebrate as much as possible!

You’ve done something worth celebrating. I like to spend some time on my sober anniversaries to reflect on how far I’ve come, and what I need to do to continue being sober.

There are several different schools of thought when it comes to recovery. There are some programs that claim they can cure you of your addiction and you will never go back. In my experience, that is not always the case for a lot of addicts.

When we talk about AA vs. other methods of sobriety, there are some differences but a lot of similarities. The AA approach is that you are powerless to your addiction, and seeking a higher power will help you achieve sobriety. Some people aren’t into the whole higher power thing, and that’s totally fine.

I try to keep in mind that I didn’t get here all by myself. I know there were a lot of people that helped me along the way. I try to celebrate those people as much as I celebrate my own progress. When I know someone has reached a milestone, I tell them how proud I am of them.

I don’t put any pressure on them, I just let them know they’ve done something commendable. The peer support I’ve received has helped keep me sober, so I try to lend a helping hand and give encouragement whenever possible.

Denial is a big part of the addiction process. We have to let people make the decision on their own to get help. You can only help someone so much. If you can’t help yourself, no one else is going to get through to you.

You can offer someone all the encouragement in the world, but if they don’t really want sobriety they won’t be able to attain it. I remind myself of this as well.

I can only do so much for other people, but I can do a lot for myself. Almost all of the days I’ve strung together are because of the decision that I made. That gives me a lot of faith in myself that I can keep it going.